College diaries - Last Physics Lesson of 2nd Year (1994)

I have decided to take up writing with the intention of making a few of my class mates immortal, not that I want to or can confer greatness on them (I am sure they have been brilliant in their life since the times I write about), but simply because they provided us with great humour and some fantastic memories of times when many of us (Yes, the class of 1996 Physics) had no clue about how to handle difficult situations. But for these incidents, I am afraid some of us may not have made it (and I say this with utmost seriousness and humility).

So, where do I start…. There are so many stories to tell.

How about 'Lets start at the very beginning', well no, not really, I want these to be 20Twenties not ODIs or god forbid, Tests.

How about the 'end' and the flashback, hmmmm no, not really, the end was not very climactic, one day we simply packed up and went our ways, with not so much as a thought for the future or the past.

So, let us start in the year 1994. The third year of our Undergraduate, honours course in (PCMB), the last Physics lecture for the year.

Most of us have chosen our majors, we are the first batch of B Sc honours students. I have chosen Physics as my major, there are going to be 5 papers each semester in Physics, no other subjects.

The head of the department (HOD) of Physics wants to speak to his flock. Prof (read T-Rex) walks in, says a few words, then gets into the meat of his message. But wait, I am getting ahead of myself.

He says something totally unexpected and bizarre. He wants us to wear a banyan (vests for those who have grown out this language) to his class without exception, because without it we will stink and he will not have that. I often wonder if, after such a start, some of the Physics majors had doubts about their chosen subject…. Well I don't know, no one spoke. He reprimands a student for not giving him full attention, he wants everyone to give him full attention. Now to the meaty part.

Prof is now in full flow. "There are going to be five lectures everyday, five hours that you will spend  doing physics, do another three hours of studies in the Hostel and Physics will be cake walk". He goes on and on about this and how much hard work/dedication we will need to put in etc…  on and on…..

He then pauses and asks if we have any questions. We are quite stunned by this speech, so no one speaks, or raises their hands for a few minutes.

And then one student. I will not call him brave, because I don't think he gave any thought to what he was doing, I am not even sure if he was aware that he was in the room at all (he had not lived on the same planet as us since the summer course of the first year). This chap raises his hands, which in itself came as a surprise to the Prof, he was not used to people asking questions.

"Sir, you have said we have to spend eight hours on Physics every day, But Swami says we should spend 95% of our time on spirituality and 5% on (I don't quite remember the word) secular pursuits (or was it 'other things'?)."

All my life teachers have screamed for 'Pin drop silence', I realised and experienced it for the first time (and probably the last time) in my life. Even the birds on the trees outside seemed to have realised the magnanimity of the situation and stopped chirping. OR perhaps it was something else, I wonder if any of you guys have seen the new Mahabharath on Start TV, how its interpretation of the Bhagwath Geeta episode it that Krishan stopped time, everything freezes, while he gives his sermon to Arjuna. Time had come to a standstill in the classroom.

Prof stood still for a long moment, the silence was so long that it woke up some who had dozed of thinking they were safe, having chosen Maths, Chemistry or god forbid (some other day) Bio Sciences. You know how a sudden, long silence, acts like a break to the droning sound that puts one to sleep. Anyway, Prof blinked, then blinked again, took a deep breath, Bheeshma probably had the same look when the first arrow from Arjuna, standing behind Shikhandi, struck him.

Within a few moments the Prof was hyper ventilating, his hair flying here and there, lungs puffing air in and out, probably reminding him to breath and then, with a supreme force of will, he spoke

"You mean to say that I should have One paper of Physics and the rest on Swami's life and teachings ……." He says he will not tolerate such nonsense from anyone … especially from the 'form' boys because Swamy has really spoiled them. They think the rules don't apply to them…."

I don't much remember what he said after that, but he raged and puffed for a long time. I am very thankful that the said student did not retort by saying "But sir that is only 80%".

All I remember is walking back to the hostel in a daze with the Non-Physics guys making fun of us and saying the dialogue from umpteen number of Hindi movies 'Ab bhi waqt hain', 'You still have time' (to change your mind).

People who know, know, who this crazy student was, others will have to wait for my next story.

My interpretation of the Ghazal, Ek Ghadi from D-Day

Disclaimer: I do not consider myself knowledgeable in Urdu so please go easy on me, this is simply my interpretation of a Gazal that I happen to love. So here goes…

I have always wondered why we are attracted to the unknown. Or even the half understood. This is particularly evident when it comes to Ghazals in Hindi cinema. To be honest, I don't quite understand Urdu, having never learnt is formally, I studied in a KV and therefore studied Hindi. But like many, I am fascinated with the Urdu language, not understanding it completely, gives the language a unique aura of mystery, In Hindi cinema, while most of the dialogues are in Hindustani the songs are mostly Urdu, it is almost as if the song lyricist finds freedom to use Urdu which the script writer does not have and has to stick to the simpler Hindustani. The lyricist, on the other hand, does not have to work within any limits.

So here is an interpretation of a Ghazal from a person who does not know Urdu.

It is important to understand the context of this Ghazal, The setting for the song is a prostitutes house in Karachi and the two characters are, the prostitute and one of her customers, a customer that she likes (at least more than the some of other customers), it can be implied that this customer is gentler than her other customers and, while one can say that she prefers him over others, one cannot stretch this to mean love. She feels that she is free from the sorrows of her life when she is with this particular customer. The freedom is not complete but she can at least dare to contemplate how life would be with this man. The song is sung from the point of view of the prostitute and is set in the early hours of the morning, A time when he will get up and leave without so much as a second thought about her.

Ek Ghadi Aur Theher, Ke Jaan Baki Hai

Wait another moment because there is still life left in me.

She urges him to stay back a few moments. She comes alive only in the night. To the world, the only purpose of her existence is to give pleasure, her customers come in the night, people pay attention (or rather acknowledge her existence) only in the night. So, she wants to draw out every moment, so she can live a few more moments.

Tere Lab Pe Mere Hone Ka Nishaan Baaki Hai

Your lips carry the marks that I exist.

Once he has left, the only sign of her existence would be marks on his lips, maybe the marks of her lipstick. It is her attempt to prolong his departure by a few moments. Maybe by saying "wipe the marks off your lips before you leave" and hence getting him to stay for a few more moments.

Shab Ke Chehre Pe Chadha Rang Savere Ka To Kya

So what, if the colour that has risen in the dark sky is that of the morning.

Imagine how rouge gives a bit of colour to the cheeks, here the morning light is acting like the rouge on the dark sky.

Dhalte Khwabon Mein Abhi Apna Jahaan Baaki Hai

despite the setting of my dreams, I still exist

The dreams that she has dreamt of, in the peak of the night are fading, but she will continue to exist and live on the hope that he will return.

Yoon Bichhad Ke Tu Mujhse Na Saza De Khud Ko

Do not punish yourself by separating from me in this manner

She feels that he also has developed feelings for her and she feels that, by leaving, he is unnecessarily adding to his own sorrow. She knows that her thoughts on his loving her are an illusion, and yet, she is willing to live with the illusions, since they give her a chance to live and hope, even if it is for a brief moment.

Abhi Haathon Se Tere Jurm Gunah Baaki Hai

There are still many more crimes that will happen at your hands.

In the film the prostitute has a knife scar on her face. She has been attacked by another man. Probably her husband who married her with the intention of putting her into the flesh trade. Or it could have been another customer who could not stand the fact that she was so beautiful and he so ugly, (how can a tawaif be so beautiful and graceful, and possibly more educated than him, how dare the tawaif show airs to him).

In all this she feels that may be this customer will avenge her, therefore a reference to crimes that have yet to come at your hands. So there is a bit of manipulation involved in all this.

Khilte Phoolon Ka Fasana To Bas Bahana Tha

The stories that you told me of blooming flowers were all excuses and simply a ruse.

Bujhte Sholon Ki Daastaan Abhi Baaki Hai

The story of the dying embers (of coal/fire) is yet to be told. The fire is not yet fully gone, It simply need to be rekindled, probably with hope.

Aankhein Sooni Hain, Meri Maang Ujdi Hai To Kya

So what if my eyes are empty/lifeless and the parting in my hair is without(devoid of) colour (the symbol of a woman's protection/marriage), there is still hope (that the embers/my life will be rekindled).

Abhi Hathon Mein Mere Rang He Na Baaki Hai

The colour of hena on my hands is still visible. As if to say that she has been widowed before the decorative hena (that women apply to their hands just before their wedding) has faded away.

GoW

What can one write about Gangs of Wasseypur after so much has been written about it?
Well, I can write about my take on it.

Let me start by talking about another movie, there are so many contrasts between them yet I feel their impact on us is going to be similar.
Sholay. Critics panned the movie when it was released and yet it went on to become one of the highest grossing movie of all times.
GoW is a darling of the critics will not do anywhere as good as Sholay at the box office, but just like Sholay it will be watched many times. Both are movies that will be remembered for their lines, will be watched many times by fans, so much so that people will forward to the lines or scenes that they want to hear/see.

The Villain who hates Bollywood and tells his son “बेटा, तुमसे ना हो पाएगा। मुझे तुम्हारे लक्शन बिलकुल थीक नाही लग रहे।”
“िबधायक को कुट कर”
“में तो समझता था कि में बच्चन हंु, अांख खुलि तो पाता चला कि बच्चन तो कोेइ ओर है। मंे तो शशि कपुर हुं।” (I think refering to another Bollywoord blockbuster 'Trishul').

The acting is par excellence, The way Siddiqui has enacted the transformation of Faizal Khan from a drug addict, unsure, fumbling kid to a feared don is simply amazing, In the middle of GoW-2 you suddenly wonder if this is the same kid from GoW-1.

To me these two movies are at the extreme ends of story telling in Indian Cinema. Both are stories of revenge. In Sholay the revenge is planned and executed. In GoW, people wait for an appropriate opportunity and when it comes the revenge is spontaneous and violent. And in between life continues, people work, quarrel, die, cook, fall in love, marry etc... Both had directors who wanted to do something different. One started of as a four-line story; the other is based on 60 years of history.
In Sholay you are not surprised when a song suddenly appears in the middle of all the action (because the you expect it). After watching GoW when you look for a particular song you liked, you are surprised to find that there are 10-12 other songs in the movie, you don't remember them because they blend in with the storyline. The songs continue the narrative. They are just at the right time.

I can go on writing about the songs.
“तेरी कह के लूंगा”. (I am going to tell you and then screw you).
“Womaniya”
“इक बगल में चाँद होगा इक बगल में रोटियां।”

The women in the movie are not the gym going women that you see in most of the other movies. Sardar Khan may be a bahu bali to the world, but at home it is Najma Khatoom who rules. There is a line where Sardar Khan tells his eldest son "Ramadhir Singh could not raise a finger against me" (the actual line in Hindi is much more colourful) "but your mom, she will fry my heart in oil."
Faizal Khan's strength is his wife. Who inspires him when he is down and out.

I am reminded of a line from the book, 'Agony and Ecstasy', which is a fictional account of Michaelangelo's life. In the book, when Leonardo Da Vinci (the other great artist of that era) visits the Vatican to see Michaelangelo's creation, he says "The painter, after he studies your ceiling, must take care not to become wooden through too strong an emphasis on bone, muscle and sinews. ... What do painters do, when they try to go beyond you?". It is the same with GoW, anyone who makes an attempt to make a movie that feels more real than GoW will simply fail, and will have, at the most have created a copy.
It's not that there have not been realistic movies in the past. Sehar, Apaharan, Rajneeti, Hasil etc… but all these have something missing in them. You, the audience are not part of the movie, The movie is running on the screen, you are watching. In GoW you find yourself wanting to wash yourself of all the soot from the coal mines where Shahid Khan works. You are on the street where Sultan Qureshi is murdered. You duck when Salman Qureshi throws a piece of गोश्त at you. You find yourself fanning away the smoke from Faizal’s चिलम.

Finally, There has been a gap of almost 40 years between Sholay and GoW. I hope I don't have to wait that much for the next game changer.

India: code review

Anybody who has done any coding will realize that the problem in India is the exception handling. There is none. Only the happy path is coded. If you follow the happy path your life will be alright. If something goes wrong, accident, health issues, fire, theft etc... (exceptions), you are basically screwed because police is incompetent, it takes forever to get justice in the courts, no health service, no life/health insurance.

Indian @independence

systems/processes are like the first piece of 'hello world' code
public void life() throws Exception {

  ...

}

// we don't even know the exceptions may occur

public void main() {

   life();
}

India @65

Sweep the exceptions under the carpet

public void life(){

  ...

}

// we know things can go bad and we have robust mechanism for handling the issue

public void main() {

  try{

      life();

  }catch(Exception e) {

      print("We are sorry for the interruption, You are screwed");

      exit();

  }

}
Developed country
public void life() {

  do lot of paper work.

  birth

  do somemore paper work

  take loan for education

  do a lot of paperwork

  get job

  do a lot of paperwork and pay a lot of taxes

  marriage()

  do a lot of paperwork for mortgage

  .....

}

// life is filled with exceptions

public void main() {

  try{

     life();

  }catch(Exception e) {

     media cries foul

     politician says people need to grow up

     fill this 100 page form

     help is on the way

     help is here

     do a lot of paperwork

     recieve help

  }

}
I can go on... but I am sure you get the idea.

Impressions of Mahabharata and Ramayana

Like many people in the world I have been fascinated by Krishna avatar more that the Rama avatar. Krishna has always been a mysterious character, what you want to see is what you get. He can be likened to matter’s dual nature, sometime wave, sometime particle. Changing its nature based on what the observer wants to see. Rama, on the other hand is quite plain.

Similar comparisons can be made between Mahabharata and Ramayana. Ramayana over emphasises the Divine nature of Rama, as opposed to his human nature. Rama, Lakshmana, Sita, Ravana , Vibhishan etc..., were very black and white characters. Rama’s divinity overshadows their stories. Mahabharata on the other hand highlights the human nature, their frailties, their weaknesses, strengths etc... And under emphasises the divine character of Krishna, except in the episode of Geetopadesh. Compared to Krishna, Rama is very boring, too righteous, and too good, he can never do any wrong. Rama is like Superman, politically correct, always the good student, first bencher, a good citizen of the country etc... Krishna can be likened to Batman, The city of Gotham is often unsure of whether he is the good guy or the bad guy; Batman is ready to be cast in a bad way to achieve a greater good.

I have heard many people talk about how they are more interested in Mahabharata because they can identify with it and with the characters in the epic. Doesn’t every family (extended) have shades of Duryodhan, Yudhishtir, Bheeshma etc...? They say Ramayana is too idealistic, Ram is Purushottam and he can do no wrong. Rama is a character very difficult to find in real life. Ramayana showcases Rama as if he is following a script (the Purushottam script) never does he assert himself; he seems to be playing by the book, following the rules laid out by someone in the past, by the Rishis and Munis. Krishna is charismatic, sometimes soft, sometimes firm. Krishna is almost dictatorial when he gives us the Bhagwath Geeta. “I am laying down the law of Dharma. This is how things are. And this is how the world works”. He is assertive. His statements cannot be questioned, they can only be interpreted. When all means of preventing the war are over, he proclaims “let there be dharma yudha”. Mahabharata encompasses the Bhagvat Geeta, the divine discourse and mother of all discourses. It is almost as if Krishna was writing down the law in a land where people had forgotten it.

Ramayan is utopian, the quest for a righteous world, the Ram Rajya. Mahabharata is pragmatic, What? it asks, will work in the given situation? Ramayana embraces the Truth, Mahabharata espouses Law. Truth is subjective; my truth can be different from yours. Law is objective; the same Law applies to you and me. It is Dharma Yuddh not Satya Yuddh.

I come from the land of Bollywood. How can I not love the masala filled life of Krishna. The cruel uncle... The separation from parents at birth ... stealing of butter and other raas leelas ..., much later ..., the heroic kidnapping of Rukmini from an un-wanted marriage at her request..., his eight principal wives and total of 16,108 wives, brother like friendship and adventures with the Pandavas..., the war of kurukshetra and the Bhagavat Geeta... and finally, do not forget the sacrifices that Krishna made, he lost everything, people he revered, his whole Yadava community, he dies alone, bleeding to death and is cremated by Arjuna.

The Indian community and general thoughts on South Africa.

I have been writing this blog for many months, I apologize for the abrupt changes in directions.

It was on 2nd October 2000 that I first landed in Johannesburg. I did not realize it then, but a few years later it occurred to me that it is Gandhiji's birthday. Since that day I have come and gone 4 times from South Africa. Every time I have told my friends 'This is it, I am not coming back.' They have always said 'See you in a few months'. And, that has been one of the things about SA, I never felt unwelcome. I left SA in October 2007. I am sure I am going to go back, probably not to stay, just to visit my friends. I have promised my 1 year old son that I will take him to the Kruger National Park when he is 14. I am not sure if he understood me,but I am going to keep my promise.

It was the first time that I was going out of India. Being young, you don't anticipate the small logistical problems one faces when one is abroad, There won't be Indian food available (logical isn't it? but I hadn't thought about it.) There was absolutely no practical mode of public transport. I never needed a car in India, In SA it is impossible to live without a car. To get a loaf of bread you have to walk a km to the nearest petrol bunk. Then, there are all these crazy, paranoid stories about crime, one would believe oneself safe only in a bunker at home and in an armored vehicle when outside.

Very soon I had settled down and started enjoying the country. I also became aware of the racial divide in the country, I vaguely remembered a news story in India about the release of Nelson Mandela from prison after 28 years. I connected that story to the word 'Apartheid'. Having been born in a free country, I could not understand the concept of 'Apartheid'. 'Whites only', 'Blacks only'. I remember filling up a form which asked me if I was 'Asian', 'White', 'Black' or 'Chinese'. I had never seen myself as an 'Asian'. I remember choosing the 'Other' option and writing 'Indian'. In South Africa, there are two types of Indians. 'Indian', meaning people of Indian origin, born and brought up in SA. And then there is the 'Indian Indian', like me who are visiting the country (citizens of India).

I visited many places, of which I remember two very distinctly. One was a trip to the Kruger National Park and the second was to Durban.The first was a trip to see the famous Big 5 of SA. I spent 4 days in the Kruger and I don't know how the time passed. I don't remember thinking of anything other than the jungle in those days. It was a prefect holiday. It also started my romance with the place, I have been there 7 times, I am sure, more than many South Africans. Before I die I want to spend one month in the Kruger and explore every inch of it.

My visit to Durban opened my eyes to the complicated relationship of India to the country. Let there be no doubt that they are South Africans. I happened to speak one of my friends relatives, he was in his fifties, had children and lived through apartheid. My thirst for knowing more about their lives, their ideas about India, South Africa, their place in the world, how their life has been thousands of miles away from the land of their forefathers. My curiosity got the better of me and I started listening... What follows are few of my impressions of life in SA.

Apartheid in many ways preserved the Indian culture in SA, each community could basically do whatever they wanted to do as long as they did not cross the path of the White Man. Now, 'Indian culture' is a very broad term so let me try and narrow it down a bit.Durban was the only piece of India they had, so people did not leave Durban very often, It was common to see extended families, all living within 20 kilometers of each other. Young men and women had elders who would watch over them, 'advice' was readily and freely available. Apartheid preserved the languages, just like the Indian states Indian community in SA divided itself into language groups, telegu, tamil, hindi, gujrati speaking, the funny things is even temples are called gujju temple or tamil temple. I feel temples can be identified on the basis of the deity that resides in the temple. Post apartheid South Africa has taken away all restrictions cultural and political, people are able to freely move around. The younger generation with all its energy has spread out of Durban to other areas of SA. When the Indianess reduces, there is no one to watch over them. Language and culture are not wanted (needed). How does it matter what language I speak, or where I come from. As long as I have a BMW to drive, a posh house to live in and a well paying job. Europe has not allowed itself to forget the holocaust, South African youth is already forgetting Apartheid.

Indian community was on the forefront of the freedom struggle in SA. The Indian African Congress merged with the African National Congress (ANC) in their struggle against the Apartheid regime. I wonder if that should have been done, I fear that even though that was a well intended move, I personally feel that the Identity of the Indian would have been more prominent had that merger not happened. I don't mean to say that SA has not been grateful to Indian community. Many people of Indian Origin were in the parliament after the first general election. I feel that these are tricky times for Indians in SA. While the country battles with the confusions of finding a new South African identity, I feel that Indians in SA should not loose their origins, Isn't there a place for both Identities to exist simultaneously? Can Indians in SA be South African of Indian origins? The answer is Yes. At least I feel that way. In the end they have to decide for themselves.

I just hope that when the SA youth tires from this burst of running there is a home that they can come back to, to rest and recharge.

South Africa, when will I see you next?

Kevin Bacon

Yesterday I watched Frost/Nixon and a thought occurred to me. Why has Kevin Bacon never made it big?
Sometimes an actor needs to get a role that is a perfect fit for him. Just like Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam. It is destiny. A lot of things have to come together for something like that to happen.